A page devoted to the art of plagiarism - other peoples' stuff I thought noteworthy.

I'm pretty sure that fair use allows limited quoting of text from other publications - especially if properly attributed, but if anyone has problems with the text on this page, let me know, and I'll remove the offending content. Please note that this is not the email address my homepage invited you to track down.

That said, I'm a sucker for funny quotes. I started this page after leafing through a Reader's Digest. I haven't read it in a while, but their quality of humor is still as I remember - which is good. They are, however, making overt efforts to encourage submission materials (make us laugh, and we'll pay you) - which isn't bad.


a collection of quotes I found funny...

Scary Music

I often play classical music at home, hoping my children will learn to appreciate it. One day I thought I'd made progress when I came home from work and heard an opera playing. My teenage son was just leaving the house and I congratulated him on his new musical interest.

"I wasn't listening to it," he replied. "I only put it on to scare away burglars."

James U. Sinclair, Reader's Digest - June 2004, p. 48

Praying under pressure

The professor of our graduate school class on gifted children included a huge amount of course material on the midterm exam. As tension in the room build, people were sighing and gasping aloud.

The following week the professor tossed the graded papers on her desk and announced: "Class, after I left here last week, the Lord spoke to me. He said, 'Gee, thanks, professor. I haven't heard from some of those people in years!'"

Gail Thomas, Reader's Digest - February 2004, p. 48a

Misrouted Messages

A new business was opening, and a friend of the owner sent flowers for the occasion. When they were delivered, the owner read the card with the flowers. It said, "Rest in Peace."

The owner told his friend who called the florist to complain.

After hearing about the mistake, the florist said: "Sir, I'm really sorry, but we have bigger problems. There is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a card saying, 'Congratulations on your new location'".

Colin English, Reader's Digest - November 2003, p. 69